support Archives - Fear Free

I Burned Out. Here’s What I Learned

Alyson Evans, RVT, CVT, Elite FFCP, CCFPAs many of you have read previously, I have been suffering from burnout. It took me a full year to accept that I needed to seek professional help to address my emotional ailments. Some days were better than others and some were darker.

From the day I went onto the Sondermind website and filled out the questionnaire about what I needed to address, I knew I was done holding onto so much darkness, hurt, and feelings of failure and worthlessness. A therapist contacted me within the day, and I scheduled my first appointment.

During my first session I burst into tears and felt relief. More, I felt the start of freedom from everything weighing me down. My weekly sessions dove into dark places that I didn’t realize were affecting me in an unhealthy way.

I have learned so much: That the emotional baggage of a recent trauma I had witnessed was called secondary trauma. And that when burnout and secondary trauma come together, the result is compassion fatigue.

I know many people are terrified of seeking professional help, believing it is a sign of weakness. It isn’t. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength and self-worth, recognition that it’s okay to put ourselves first. It’s difficult to do that, especially if we are veterinary professionals, but humans are not meant to fix everything on their own. We aren’t meant to be all-knowing and all-healing, let alone self-healing, at least not without a little help and guidance.

At a recent therapy session, I didn’t have much to talk about other than two vivid dreams, unusual because typically my dreams fade away rather than sticking in my memory. In the first, I was bitten on my right wrist and left ankle by a snake. After some research, I learned that this dream signifies overcoming a mental obstacle or issue as well as dealing with criticism. Both were accurate. I felt like I had been healing but hadn’t fully realized it. In the next dream, our neighbor, with whom I’ve had issues in the past, was drawing beautiful chalk murals on our sidewalk. She told me she wanted to start over and admitted that she had not been very nice to me for the past two years.

When I told my therapist about these dreams, I explained that I thought they were signaling that I was free to move on and move forward from the darkness I had been harboring. My therapist, smiling, nodded her head in agreement and for the first time I felt pride in myself and how far I have come.

My therapist once asked how I would know that I had achieved healing. “Pride,” I said. I would feel proud of myself for learning and practicing the tools I had gained from therapy to self-heal to the best of my ability, for putting aside my self-pride to seek professional help. Now that has happened.

My hope in sharing this journey is that some or all of you will find the strength to advocate for yourself. Take a chance on yourself and seek professional help. Speak up and ask for help or let someone know you are not okay. You can learn how to set boundaries, love yourself, and know that it is okay to not always be okay.

Here are some things that help me daily:

I play calming music in the car to and from work: It’s not just great for a Fear Free visit to and from the vet office for our pets, it is great for our own mental wellbeing going to and from a place that can cause us fear, anxiety, and stress.

When I start to feel stress or anxiety, I ask myself, “Is this helpful or hurtful?” and then move on.

I no longer work through lunch: I need that time to recharge, whether by meditating, listening to music or a podcast, or watching a Ted Talk or Netflix show.

I make plans for the weekend or holidays: Making plans with my family helps us not to stagnate at home but to get out of the house and do things together.

I set a bedtime for the kids: Adults need their own time. Keeping kids on a set schedule for bedtime helps parents stay connected and have time to check in on one another.

I don’t try and solve every problem: We are in an industry where people come to us with problems that we do our best to solve. It is okay to guide family and friends toward solving their own problems and making their own mistakes.

I treat myself: A hair appointment, a new outfit, or a mani-pedi are all ways to relax and feel special now and then.

I explore new options: The best time to explore other opportunities is to do it when we don’t have to. If you are happily employed but want to see what other hospitals are like or what opportunities are out there, investigate them. When we are not in a position where we might have to settle, we can explore our own values in a career and determine what is important to us. Many times, this exercise can help us realize what we value in ourselves or desire in a career path or future hospital.

I accept my feelings: It’s okay to express my feelings, whether someone else agrees with them or not.

I’m open and honest with loved ones: When I allow myself to be vulnerable and talk about how I am feeling or anxieties or fears I have, I allow my family to be part of that, which in turn has helped them feel more involved with my life rather than just being spectators.

Check out our Fear Free on the House page for resources on wellness, quick tips, and more!

This article was reviewed/edited by board-certified veterinary behaviorist Dr. Kenneth Martin and/or veterinary technician specialist in behavior Debbie Martin, LVT.

Alyson Evans RVT, CVT, Elite FFCP, CVBL, is hospital manager at Briargate Boulevard Animal Hospital in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

When Burnout Overwhelms You, What Comes Next?

Alyson Evans, RVT, CVT, Elite FFCP, CCFPSix months ago, I wrote about my experience with burnout. I thought then that I had reached my lowest low, but I was wrong. Here’s what has been happening since then.

I have been doing nail trims and anal sac expressions in my neighborhood for the last three years. Recently, one of my neighbors had asked on our community Facebook page if someone in the veterinary field could answer a question. Her dog was limping, and she didn’t know what to do. One of the neighbors offered her some doggy aspirin she had bought at the pet store. I quickly advised against giving unprescribed medications to her pet.

The conversation turned into a bullying session. One of my neighbors told me I shouldn’t try to act like a veterinarian. I have never felt so disrespected in the 15 years I have been in this career.

I shut down.

The next thing I knew, I was in my closet, crying, repeating to myself, “I don’t care, I don’t care anymore. Why should I care about others’ pets if I am going to be treated like crap? I’m done.”

I may have been improving with burnout, but I had just hit a whole new level of compassion fatigue.

I had a full weekend’s worth of nail trims to do and was going to make a little more than $200 in five hours. I didn’t care about the extra money anymore and canceled all appointments for the foreseeable future.

In tears, I explained to my husband why I had given up making extra money on the side. It was clear he wanted to help but didn’t know what to say or do. I knew I needed professional help.

Now I’m in the process of finding a therapist I can connect with. Until then, my family and I have adopted the following tools to help reduce stress:

–Simple Habit, a meditation app. My son uses it to fall asleep and settle down. He will ask to meditate to go to sleep now.

–A “coming home” routine: The spouse who is home first allows the second spouse to “finish coming home.” This gives them some quiet transition time to put their bags down, change clothes, and relax. When they’re ready to engage with the other spouse to prepare for the evening, they come out of the bedroom or wherever they choose to decompress.

–Boundaries with kids: I explain to my son that I need time to talk with his dad and ask him to sit quietly and watch a short show or play ABCmouse, a reading app. I also set timers in the house called, “Time to get ready for bed,” “Time for bed,” and “Quiet time is over.”

–Communication: When I start to feel like I’m getting anxious, I communicate how I am feeling and what I need to be able to come back down to earth.

Most of all, we continue to remind each other to slow down, be present, engage, and take time to listen to one another. My husband and I are working to improve our communication with our 3-year-old son so we can help him become an emotionally intelligent person, something his dad and I still work on ourselves.

We make time to have difficult conversations, and when we get into arguments, we try to make it a conversation, being mindful of raised voices, body language, and facial expressions. When necessary, we call each other out in a respectful way, in the moment, to help the other become aware of what they are doing.

The Fear Free way of thinking has helped me in so many aspects of my life. I use the techniques with my own son when he has doctor appointments as well as in everyday life. I communicate with him, making sure he knows what is coming up next, where we are going, what the doctor will do next. He is better behaved and calmer when things are explained to him, in most settings. I think that most children would respond to situations in a calmer manner when a Fear Free or Considerate Approach is taken.

In a work setting, my current team is emotionally intelligent, and all know the battle that I am fighting, which helps. Openly discussing things with your team can not only help you to become stronger but also to be seen with more respect and empathy than if you suffer in silence to spare everyone else’s feelings. Maybe someone on your team is suffering as well and doesn’t have the courage to speak up. Sharing your battles may give them strength to seek help for theirs. I wish more practice managers and owners would spend a day, at least, in a Fear Free certified hospital.

The most important message I want to send is that the battle of burnout is ongoing, and it’s not one you can win on your own. It doesn’t fix itself overnight or with a couple of therapy sessions.

Here is a quote I read frequently from Rachel Ashwell’s book “Painted Stories”:

“There is a time for taking action and creating work, and there is also a time for rest and seeking new ideas. Learning when you need space will help you to build a more sustainable creative practice.”

Check out our Fear Free on the House page for resources on wellness, quick tips, and more!

This article was reviewed/edited by board-certified veterinary behaviorist Dr. Kenneth Martin and/or veterinary technician specialist in behavior Debbie Martin, LVT.

Veterinary Profession Burnout: A First-Person Account

Editor’s Note:Alyson Evans is a Fear Free Certified veterinary technician, a certified Compassion Fatigue coach, and the hospital manager at Briargate Boulevard Animal Hospital in Colorado Springs, Colorado. This first-person piece is part of an email to Fear Free Education team staff describing her own experience working in the field, in the currently overwhelmed veterinary industry. We thought that many of you might relate to it, so we asked if we could share it.

I thought I was happy and handling my stress well, but I wasn’t. I was hiding stress from my team and taking it out on my husband and son. Not a healthy way to cope. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.

I received some personal coaching about burnout and had some one-on-one time with a coach. It was eye-opening to me and confirmed that I was suffering from burnout. “Suffering” is a difficult word to stomach, especially when talking about yourself.

Here is perhaps an even harder pill to swallow: As women, we let ourselves get into a position of burnout. Men don’t typically experience burnout as much as women do. We are raised and taught to be the primary caregivers for our children and family. We put ourselves last and think that we need to be more like men to succeed.

Once I realized I had allowed myself to take on all of these roles, I said right then: “No more.” I set boundaries at home with my 3-year-old son and my husband. I want to raise my son to know that women are not just caregivers; they are individuals who need boundaries and that he needs to be a partner in any relationship he is in, work or personal.

I told my team that although I seemed happy and upbeat at work, I would go home and keep thinking about all of them. How would I get them pay increases if we didn’t hit our quarterly goals? How could I show more appreciation? Would more of my team quit? How would I find replacement team members given the national shortage of veterinary professionals?

One of my exercises was to fill out a pie chart. Out of 100 percent of the day, how much of that time was spent thinking about work? How much was spent caring for my son? How much time did my husband receive? Then, how much for me? Out of the time spent with my son and husband, how much time was I actually present: No phone on me, not multitasking, but actually engaging with them? This was so difficult, and at this point I burst into tears.

I spent 80 percent of my day thinking about work, from the time I woke up to hours after I had left. I gave 15 percent to my son and 5 percent to my husband, leaving 0 percent to myself.

Having the visual of the pie chart led me to set new rules or boundaries in my home. When my son and I get home from school and work, we spend 30 minutes outside together listening to children’s music and drawing with chalk on our driveway (both adults and kids need to be able to transition from work/school to home). Once we do that, we go inside and I call my husband to see when he will be home so I can make dinner or start prepping dinner for him to make. (We make a weekly dinner menu to take that added daily stress off our plate.) When he arrives home, we each have 30 minutes to send any necessary texts and then phones go on chargers in our bedroom so we can engage, be present, eat together, and talk during dinner. Once our son is in bed, we take 30 minutes to check Facebook or do whatever we want before spending quality time together.

A big part of combating burnout is owning your share of it and how you got there. If there have been a lot of euthanasias, speak up and let your supervisor know that emotionally, you need a break. (I just did four in two days and needed to tap out for the last one of the day). It is okay to admit that and to speak up when it is to the point of emotional breakage, but if you are someone who just dodges euthanasias and puts that strain on your co-workers, then that is not fair to your team members. We must own what is happening to us and reflect on what we are allowing to cause the burnout.

Support staff should check in on doctors who have done multiple euthanasias, as they should with each other. Management needs to do so as well. If management is also a trained tech, have them take a euthanasia or two if they can, to lighten the emotional load that their team carries.

For management teams: When you hear a team member say “I’m so burned out,” take that seriously and pull that member aside to talk. Have that conversation, because if it really is burnout, they need some time to be away from work to focus on themselves, talk with a coach or therapist, and get support. Having wellness conversations with team members is important in this field and is the only way we can keep our team mentally healthy.

Alyson Evans, CVMA CVA, RVT, CVT, CCFP, Hospital Manager, Briargate Boulevard Animal Hospital, Colorado Springs, Colorado

Check out our Fear Free on the House page for resources on wellness, quick tips, and more!

This article was reviewed/edited by board-certified veterinary behaviorist Dr. Kenneth Martin and/or veterinary technician specialist in behavior Debbie Martin, LVT.